la-di-da-di-da

LALALLAALALLA!!! I am done with the semester!! was it tough? yes! gggrrr...

I might have to repeat the module again... sigh... apart of me doesnt feel like studying anymore...especially after i saw the sch fees ive got to pay for next term... keep thinking.. WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am stupid... Im not smart...im not wealthy... I should be helping my dad...working... well apart from the return ticket back to brisbane and the 1000bucks deposit...ive not taken money from him.. When my mum asked him why...he was like she didnt ask or say how much... sigh...

now i keep thinking if i should continue... another reason why i wanted to study (apart from hating em and always wanted to get a degree...) is so that my sis would be forced to get a job... but it is not the case... she is still jobless...by choice... I feel guilty... and how am i to pay the bank after i graduate...?? Sigh.... where am i going to get the money for next year? I cnt depend on him...or any1 else for that matter...

I think I wanna get a part-time job...since attachments are hard to get in Singapore...for less than 3 mths... I wanna go back home... Since I wnt be back for puasa...I wana be there for haji... at least 1 festival with the family... by hook or by crook...i need to earn money.. so that i can survive til june... then june worry again... sigh... Did I make the wrong choice... I think if my grades are really sucky (which i would know in 2 weeks time) I might consider dropping out... at least i gained some experiences... next time...when things are more settled...I can continue again... how? I know... I should not be looking back...but I need to think what's best...

and no... I was not here because he is here..just to set it clear again... haha...

ciao! see ya in the sunny...humid island... SINGAPORE soon!

1 more to go...

Just done with maths... crap... I could have gotten more marks...I knew how to do the last question... but the brain wasnt registering..the pen werent writing... crap... could have gotten more than 5 marks! anyway....what was done...is done... so now...the best thing of all...1 more paper to go! hooray! I just cannot wait to go back home (Siti doesnt miss me...so i dnt miss her... he he he...) til the 22nd...when i would probably blog again... ciao!

2 more days..4 papers...then home!!

My first paper is on the 9th...Statistics...god...how I LOVE Stats... gonna start studying now... been trying to practice on maths the last few days... but somehow never in the mood and not absorbing... studying not for me anymore? hhmmm...

anyway... Thermodynamics on the 15th.. Im so scared that its that soon... I dunno where to start! Ive forgotten all the earlier parts and 1 question would be based on that... the other Qs are on chemical thermodynamics... sigh...

18th...math...I loved Poly math... seriously...but I do not get the math here... prob because too bz doing the other assignments to practice math here...and also cause i didnt understand the later parts...which are gonna be tested on...

and 21st...the last paper...heat and mass transfer... I failed the last quiz and because of that i have to pass the paper or Ill fail the course altogether... how great right?

I am trying not to go crazy...I dnt work well under pressure...but it is scary... the last time i took a test was advanced theory (and I had to take it a second time to pass...haha) so my examz skills...rusty... I ve let myself down...Ive been tryin to study...but its too hard...I can't...not that the modules are tough...it is just that it is hard concentrating and studying... I don't feel "intelligent" or "smart"... I do hope Id do well... giving up has come to mind... sigh... the boredom... ha ha...

25th June...SINGAPORE!! hooray!! cnt wait... although i ll be on the flight alone... the might not be able to get tickets if still on waiting list on 13th... guess the would be alone here... for a mth... while i enjoy singapore... ha ha ha... the reverse now...

Alrite... see ya soonnn.... btw...no presents this time...cause no $$ next time k? he he...