la-di-da-di-da

LALALLAALALLA!!! I am done with the semester!! was it tough? yes! gggrrr...

I might have to repeat the module again... sigh... apart of me doesnt feel like studying anymore...especially after i saw the sch fees ive got to pay for next term... keep thinking.. WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am stupid... Im not smart...im not wealthy... I should be helping my dad...working... well apart from the return ticket back to brisbane and the 1000bucks deposit...ive not taken money from him.. When my mum asked him why...he was like she didnt ask or say how much... sigh...

now i keep thinking if i should continue... another reason why i wanted to study (apart from hating em and always wanted to get a degree...) is so that my sis would be forced to get a job... but it is not the case... she is still jobless...by choice... I feel guilty... and how am i to pay the bank after i graduate...?? Sigh.... where am i going to get the money for next year? I cnt depend on him...or any1 else for that matter...

I think I wanna get a part-time job...since attachments are hard to get in Singapore...for less than 3 mths... I wanna go back home... Since I wnt be back for puasa...I wana be there for haji... at least 1 festival with the family... by hook or by crook...i need to earn money.. so that i can survive til june... then june worry again... sigh... Did I make the wrong choice... I think if my grades are really sucky (which i would know in 2 weeks time) I might consider dropping out... at least i gained some experiences... next time...when things are more settled...I can continue again... how? I know... I should not be looking back...but I need to think what's best...

and no... I was not here because he is here..just to set it clear again... haha...

ciao! see ya in the sunny...humid island... SINGAPORE soon!