What's the hidden meaning of my name....? Ultra long...

What Radhiya Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

What Radhiya Binte Abdol Rahman Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

PMs

Something that has not happened for some time happened again... Guess Im never strong enough...happy enough...grateful enough... friendly enough...loving enough... in short...im pathetic...

that is the p....

To some people...words speaks louder than the actions themselves...yes...a chnage in the norm...but id rather think that words can cut you more deeply... especially since...it is always lack of actions... One can say time and time again that he/she loves you...but can not show it... But how would you know? and if you were to just listen to the words and wait for actions...you are in for some disappointments.... the heart is a fragile...wonderful thing...that should not be messed around with (DUH)... and it also hurts the most when words are not expressed properly... a push...or a shoove...or a punch...is nothing to the intense pain in the heart... you live on....

Ok...I must have crapped alot there... but yeah...digress...digress.... I feel so pathetic...because since young Ive always tried to impress people...but of course never successful... and now when I am to shine...Im like a blown out light bulb...to be disposed off... Ive always thought that Im not loved...and never will be... so I end up being the defensive one...the "Queen" without a crown...even now I always feel left out...

Now what is Ms? hmmm...the uncreative 1 is gonna say miss... so its pathetic miss.......... kinna like vanda miss joaqim... but of course...on the contrary...that is a famous orchid....

nothing else I wanna say...but goodbye.... suddenly lost the mood to blog....

Just in the mood to.....

Today....I'm just in the mood to blog.... maybe due to the aching right jaw..or the aching heart... either or...it doesn't really matter does it...? Just somehow got to fill this dreadfully dusty space...haha!

Warning: long entry ahead!!

Oh how I wish i have fantastic grammar and vocab to impress... I cannot even type T-H-E nowadays...it would always be teh.... haha... dear tehbee...if you are reading this...was that why you got part of your nick?

Hmmm...what should I blog on...I have so much to tell...but then again...I think I've reported on the series if unfortunate events after my return to whoever who would care to listen to my constant cries....? Yes...for the first two weeks whe I was back...I was practically crying myself to sleep... Silly me... but the cries I meant here is the cries of my whinning....complaining...and what not.... yes... nothing good... poor them...having to listen...or tolerate my msn conversations with them... He he... but a BIG HUGE GIGANTIC MASSIVE (ok enough....hehe) hug to them and THANK YOU!! Afterall...it is not as if they were in high spirits or relaxed to be listening to me.... About what? hmmm....my failures...my unle passing eay and my family not wanting to tell me...and my relationship worries.... Yeah...nothing new huh? Me failing....but i PROMISE not to disappoint my family and dearies out there...

Ok...my family does not know that I failed 2 modules...I just do not want to hear what they would say....It is not as if I am having fun over there...partying...smoking...drinking... I've been stressed...not being able to study... til all I want to do when I am at home is watch TV or surf the net...I am just waiting for people to chat with (poor U lots) and wishing I have friends like the rest do...Probabaly I've been too closed up...just wanting to stick to him...until it seems to him that I am dependent on him...but it is just that I am not able to make friends there...and he is the only 1 I know...and unfortunately...want to be with....(Continuation:relationship...now it's on school...haha) Hopefully next year...a new year...a new place...would mean a new me...ermmm...not exactly a changed me...but a more independent me....I would still be the irritating one...so beware people...hahaha! Oh yeah...so because I failed Unit Ops...I would have to take the module again...but the sickening thing is that I would have to take it with this individual...who makes my blood boil...and ARRGGGH!!! I just cannot stand him...and the feelings mutual...I am so glad for that... I still remember the day he shouted at me because he says I was not being a team member...not a part of the brotherhood..(confusion over anatomies on his part there) I actually did not shout back as I normally would...or cry... instead I logged on to msn...checked who was online...and typed: Ah Pui yao ken woh dah jia...Har mah woh... and the disclaimer...han yu pin yin sux...hopefully u understand wad I said... there wasnt any1 online that understood malay...haiz.... Oh why do I despise him? 1) He irritates me 2) I hate his work ethics... 3) He loves to point out mistakes when not asked to and he thinks he's always right so things have got to go is way.... As I am not a bootlicker or 1 from his country, and also 1 who does not like to be criticised...I was not the demure, polite girl I should be... Oh well...That is 1 enemy...among 0 friends....

no wonder we have wars...hmmm....

Ok...enough about the friendless me... next..my aching neck and jaw.... Initially I tought the pain was due to wisdom teeth... I don't know how I came up with that..but that was just my theory... Or because I had not been sleeping properly. But the pain was to intense 1 night that my mom asked me to go to the doctors to have it checked out.... after seeral "AAAHHHSSS" the dr said she could not diagnose me so sent me to a specialist... So 2 days later i went down to Mt E...greeted by teh friendly staff or teh clinic...and then...the dr... He said he had to do a scope to see what was going on in my throat... He took out this "thing" that looked like a torch light...got to see my nose hair and throat (would not be painting you a picture on that...he he)...was thinking thank god my nose was clean...and I had blown my nose...I had a cold the day before so I was worried...hahaha! As I said...not too bad....or so I thought... He pulled out this long thing after that... DEN-DEn-DEn!! (drama...haha) The scope....He explained to me that he would insert it from my nose..and slowly...it would go down my throat....oh-kay.......... So in it went...stage nose: cleared stage throat: Yikes!! To me it was pinful...but more so uncomfortable then painful....It is like when you try to swallow something that you did not chew properly...except that this this just would not go away... So I had to try swallow my salive and view the exciting show of :my throat. He was trying to pin point the "pain area" and take a picture of it...but I just wanted it out.... tug-of-war... aha! Whenever he asked me if that area hurts...of course the silly 1 said yes...hoping he would stop.. He went further...and further...til he was convinced my "arghh!!" meant yes...that was teh affected area... In the end he said there was nothing wrong with my throat...and he does not know what is causing my pain... but asked my to refrain from eating 'drinking dairy products and meat like chicken...and no spicy and oily food.... uh-huh?? Do you think I can do taht when I'm back here?? Anyway...he gave me antibiotics (that seemed to work...) and asked me to come back a week later for follow-up...and yes...another scope...second time there...same thing...he does not know why...but does not want me to continue on antibiotics...gave me another medicine that I can take when I feel that I have phlegm...ear pain..and I cannot remmeber what else..hahaha! I took that when my pain returned...but...no it does not help... I am in pain...again...sigh.......My dad paid 300 bucks for my check-up...just to have me in pain again.....I feel like emailing him(because he said I can email him anytime) and tell him the pain is back... but then...Ive not been listening on his food restrictions... ha ha ha.... how? I have pain killers...hahaha! It is like as if the bone is scraping the neck muscles right now...and just now...it was my jaw line....no wonder I thought it was my wisdom tooth...

Ok...next issue...relationship....Sigh... I know I should not be whinning about this but be grateful that someone wants to be with me....Actually I feel bad blogging about this when I know....never mind...do not feel like mentioning... but sorry yeah...

I feel unappreciated...unloved...and as if i'm taken advantage of in this relationship....I now it is not his fault that he feels he cannot tell me some things when I demand that the relationship shold be an open...trusting one....Why did I use the word demand? Simply because to him, I am demanding...and controlling... I had ideas of us married....happily ever after style...but not any more... I cannot remember having a pleasant dream with him in it.... I've had dreams of me being with other guys (PG ones not RA)...and one I used to like... Yes, I admit it...I liked him..but not in the How-I-Wish-He-Would-Ask-Me-Out kinna way....It was just the similar interests... When would he talk openly with me? when we are having an argument (strong ones...with both shouting) or when he is drunk...so hooray for me!! I do not feel like talking to him nowadays...and he does not even call me when I don't.... Guess it is my fault for being too emotional...sensitive...and whatever.... but that is all I would say for now... He is still my BF....just that the B is not best....

Enough of ranting for now....the eat-sleep-play facebook queen is tired of blogging....until next time.... sweet dreamzzzzzzzzzz..............and take care...

Hi!

I feel streesed out... Don't know what I am doing...I'm so left behind... nobody to turn to... No listening ear that can take my utter nonsense...my grumblings...my arguments... No one to talk to as well... I am that uninteresting and irritating huh?

I look forward to emails...blog entries...and chat sessions to keep me occupied... But I have nothing to write...nothing to say... because I am so full of negativites that all I am is a black box... waiting for the controller to feed me...(or the black box of a plane where u recover during crashes...unimportant unless if there is a mishap) I so looked forward for this phase of my life...but I might have jinx it all by looking too far ahead too soon... Would there even be a graduation?

A graduation....yes.. in life...not just academically... Now I don't even see the fuure...Ask me what do I want..and I would just look at you...with a blank look... Anything that comes my way I guess? I am a dissapointment... to myself and to others who had some hope in me...

It is hard when you feel down and you have to worry or care about someone else... when you feel stressed out but you can't tell others because they are feeling the same way too... Well...Isnt so bad right if everyone is in the same boat? Not really when you have to cheer them up...or say something useful...and not flare up because you are worse off than them but they are the ones whinning....

But when you need them most...they are not there...unlike my dear dear friends out there... he he...:) there...a smile....

Is it that bad? No happy moments? Or am I just too overly critical...ignorant...and closed up that I just Do not se it when I should have... I am waiting for the time to tell the world how happy I am...being me...not having somebody else stealing my limelight... Just smiling away and mean it...and just spread the happiness...the joy around me...

Maybe it is just how I am...maybe I am just an attention seeker... maybe...maybe.... but a must be is that.....I must be happy....right?

So that is why I have not been updating...everytime I blog...it is something sad...bad..angry...that I do not feel like boring or burdening (yeah right) you... but well... I must say something right? he he he

Take care....

Hi

Tomorrow would be the start of Ramadhan in Singapore... Here it is on Friday... I thought it would be alright... but I miss my family more than ever...and its not even raya yet... I am gonna miss the times when mum or sis (who never sleeps at night) would have to drag me out of bed to eat... and there Id be...pulling a long face because I want to continue snooozziiinng.... I am gonna miss the times when I gorge myself with dates...thinking I wld have enough energy for the whole day just cause I ate dates...and when I would gulp down at least 2 glasses of water (and a cup of tea cause mum made it) just before times up... Dad would buy food for break fast...if mum is too tired to cook or if she cant think of what to cook...or whenever he feels like buying/eating smt... Realised ive always taken things for granted...Mum and dad always doing things for us...pampering us...I had always thought mum loves sis more because well...she never scolded or beat her...she just let her be... She loves me so :) I am going to miss all those for 2 years... what else wld i miss other than being woth family and friends? going to the bazaar at geylang...even though standards dropped...its just the atmosphere...and there are foodie there... he he... What wldn't I miss then? hmmm...cleaning the house the day BEFORE raya... I am so gonna miss mum's special cooking...but Im so not gonna miss spring cleaning! That...I can blog in a mths time... Hopefully for this mth...I can control my ever growing temper..not curse...and basically be a good girl... he he... Eh although I m not into alcohol and cigarettes... Me a good girl takes lots of work! Ok...oscar(ina) the grouch is sleepy...and is gonna go sleep...Would not bore you with repeated details that Im bored here...and ive lost interest (i'm lost...basically).

selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan...